self love

1. I am too accepting.
Some of you may think, how is that a bad thing though? It's a good thing to be accepting, but it can be a bad thing when you are too accepting. Now I mean this just in general, but I'm gonna gear this more towards the boys and my love life. This is a scary thing because when I start to fall for a guy, I fall really hard and fast. I see their flaws but I disregard them as soon as possible. It's beautiful but at the same time, there are some guys out there that I shouldn't be with and some that aren't right for me, but I fall anyways and it's hard for me to let go even if they already have. I learned this just recently but I've had MULTIPLE experiences with this that I didn't see until now.

Okay, just gonna be honest and vulnerable for a sec. (haters gonna hate)

(a little back story).
I've only had one real boyfriend in my life. It was on and off for a really long time and took up a bit too much of my time. Things were really messy. So messy that I couldn't even explain what all went down. Now we are on completely good terms but in the middle of it, I felt many different things but the one thing that it hit the hardest was my self esteem. Right now we've moved past everything, we are on good terms and I'm completely over it and everything but initially that self esteem issue was hard to come back from.

Okay so, I went into college thinking I was gonna find a boyfriend right away. I don't know why I thought that, I just did. And i've had lots of dates but there are some things that Ive done that I am not proud of. I was seeking love and acceptance in the wrong ways possible. Now this is obviously too personal to share but I think most of you get the idea. And this definitely didn't make me feel good about myself.
And then... I met a guy. I thought things were different with him and I fell so fast and hard - harder and faster than most. I thought he was the perfect one for me. Then out of nowhere he drops me, and this was hard for me. My self esteem was back to zero. I felt awful about myself. And although it hurt me, this is where I found out what was happening in my life. I realized, I had no self love so I would just go around boy hopping because I was seeking that acceptance and the feeling of being wanted.

Firstly, I needed to learn to accept and love who I am. Secondly, how could I expect someone to love who I am when I haven't even accepted myself? Thirdly, I've realized that when you are in a relationship and you love and accept yourself if that relationship were ever to end, you would be okay. I mean yeah you'd still be heartbroken but your self esteem wouldn't break down so much because you know who you are and you know that you deserve someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. (a freaking queen).

Ways that I've been finding my self love and have been building my confidence is by focusing on myself. Lately, I've been filling up my time with things that I love and enjoy doing. I surround myself with positive and supportive friends and family members. I've been taking care of my body by eating healthier and exercising more. I spend a little bit more time in the mirror every morning and some of you will probably say... "Self love isn't about outward appearance". I know that but there are some things that make some people feel prettier and it's not gonna be the same for everyone. I know that when I'm wearing my favorite outfit or my hair looks dang good (lol), I feel a lot more confident. And when I feel that confidence on the outside it flows to the inside as well.

And lastly, this has nothing to do with myself and this is probably the most important one, but I've been spending more time serving others.This gives me a better view of how Heavenly Father sees His children and how He sees me.

Well, if you've made it this far... thanks for listening to me ramble. And know that if you are one of those negative people who throw out hate everywhere, you can say what you want and it won't matter to me. Just hope you learn to love yourself soon. ;)

ps. Don't know why all the pictures on my blog don't work (except for Peru because i've fixed that) but when I come around to it, I will for sure fix that issue.

/daisy.